Wednesday, May 4, 2011

A Sad Little Tale....

 Once upon a time there was a beautiful little girl. She was quite a handful for her parents, she was creative, smart, spontaneous, adventurous, friendly, and much more. You may be wondering who this little girl is. Well, her name was DeLynda Patricia Honneywell, and she was my older sister. And why is this a sad tale you may ask. For those of you who don't know, my sister died on October 12th 2010. Only 3 days after mine and Zac's Temple Sealing.
 I was laying in bed trying to get back to sleep after one of my many late night/early morning bathroom trips when my phone began to play my mom's ringtone. I sleepily reached for my phone and answer it with a curious "Hello?" My mother on the other end replied "Kaila, come to your door." Very confused I just say "Okay." So I walked downstairs in my robe and go to the back door, when I opened it I found my mom and her boyfriend Tim waiting for me, my mom in tears. I started asking her what was wrong and Tim quickly interrupted telling me to just hug my mom for a minute. Confused, but more concerned I did as he said. After our hug I ushered them into the living room, where I began asking them what was going on and where I received the horrifying news. My mom all in tears told me that my sister had shot herself. Now because she bawling while telling me this I didn't quite understand what she had said so I to make her repeat herself a couple times. The news didn't really sink in until I went upstairs to get Zac. When I woke him and tried to tell him what happened I just started crying and couldn't quite get it out. When the half awake Zachary finally understood what I was saying he rushed downstairs to my parents, and Zac and I decided to go over to their house. When we got to my parent's house we saw DeLynda's two children sitting on the couch, which is when I learned that they didn't know what had happened to their mom because I greeted with an excited "Hi Aunt Kaila!"
 My mom just couldn't break the news to them, so I was going to do, but when I started thinking about I was going to tell Ayla I realized that I couldn't do it either. Both my mom and I turned to Tim to tell her, and with tears in his eyes he got down to her level and held her arms and with a shaky voice he told her, "Your mommy went to heaven." Ayla started to bawl, I could tell that she was a little confused, but she knew what that meant. After we all cried together for awhile Ayla and I sat on the couch and talked about how she got to her Namaw's house and what she had previously thought had happened. She told me that some police officers had come to Blue (DeLynda's boyfriend)'s house where they were living and told her that she was going to go live with her grandma for a long time. They gave her and Daylin bags that had a toothbrush, paste, some hair stuff, toys and a blanket in it. She told me that she had just thought that her mom had gone to jail or something, which made her start to cry again, so I just held her in my arms for awhile. We had to start planning for the funeral and as the days of planning went on I had convinced myself that we were just planning a party for her, which had made the planning fun, but when the day of the funeral arrived, I guess it just hit me really really hard. I began thinking about all things we're going to have to do without her and all the things she'll be missing out on. She wasn't going to be able to hold my baby boy, or hug her kids when they're feeling down, she wasn't going to be able to cheer for them and give them hugs when they graduate high school and collage, she had given up the ability of raising her children, teaching them wrong from right, watching them grow teaching Daylin to ride a two wheeler. All these things that she wasn't going to be apart of. I know her spirit will be there for it all, but not her touch.
 It's still hard to think about her being gone and at times I find myself forgetting that she's dead and I have to be hit with reality all over again. We'll never stop missing her, but I know that we'll learn to live without her, we have to. I hope that our prayers reach her and that she knows how deeply she's missed. Every night that Daylin stays at my house we kneel pray before he goes to sleep and in every prayer he prays that he's mom knows that he loves and misses her.
 This is only the story of  DeLynda's death, maybe one day we can sit down and I can tell you the story of her life.

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